Video Notes

Robin Discusses 3 Types of Stress

  1. Physical Stress — When a child’s fundamentals aren’t met (eating, sleeping, being outside, being loved, feeling safe), they can’t handle stress well. Emotional reactions become dramatic and more intense than what the situation calls for.
  2. Stressors not within our control — This type of stress calls for us to find workarounds and mental attitude adjustments to do the best they can with the situation we have.
  3. Stressors we control — These often show up as a result of obligations and things we think we should do, but are optional. It requires us to shift our priorities or say no to things that are causing us stress, so we can say yes to things really matter. This creates more efficiency and flow in our day.

We Become Stressed When One (or More) of the Five Elements Is Out of Balance

If a person has an element that is really out-of-balance, you will see physical and emotional responses related to that element. For example, if Wood is out of balance a person will have a tendency toward irritability or angry outbursts.

Emotional reactions to stress also strongly correlate to the elements that influence your child’s personality. So a child whose personality is strongly influenced by Wood would have the same reaction described above.

Stress Responses Related to Each Element and Tips for Relieving Stress

Wood Element
Emotionally, a wood imbalance can result in extreme tantrums & explosive behavior. Physically, it can manifest in backaches, headaches, vision issues, and rubbing of the eyes.

TIPS:
Prevention is key. Wood children need more rest and balanced eating along with free-time to be creative, explore, and have unstructured physical outlets.

Water nurtures the Wood Element. Getting them in water and physically active in water is a huge stress reliever.

Fire Element
Emotionally, a Fire imbalance manifests as quick temper or overly dramatic responses to what the situation calls for. Physically, it can manifest in sleep issues and anxiety.

TIPS:
Physical activity outside in nature is very important. Redirecting the child to experience their environment with their senses is a great way to distract them from their intense feelings.

Bedtime routines are key. Make sure to take time to listen and talk to your children around bed time so that their needs and feelings are met and they feel heard. Have them talk about their feelings.

Earth Element
Emotionally, an Earth imbalance shows up as worries about safety and about those around them. This is very typical between ages 7-9 years. Physically, it can manifest as stomach aches or digestive problems. Low appetite or issues with controlling eating habits can also occur.

TIPS
Sharing worries with a parent or trusted adult can help them to talk out the issues. Exploring the fears and giving them plans of action for their worries is also helpful. Give them a worry rock or crystal that they can deposit their worries into. Then have them wash away those feelings in a stream or in the sink.

Metal Element
Emotionally, a Metal imbalance shows up as over-controlling a situation or perfectionism. Getting stuck in negative thinking cycles is also common, especially in the evening before bed.

TIPS:
Make sure they have time to decompress and be by themselves after a long day at school. Start a simple gratitude practice and help your child focus on the good things that happened during the day instead of the negative things. Teaching and modeling flexibility is also key.

Water Element
Emotionally, a Water imbalance can manifest in withdrawal or avoidance. Kids will run away, hide, or numb themselves with video games or TV.

TIPS:
Water children are deep thinkers and need more time to process things than other children. Let them deal with the stress in their own way, but also be supportive after they’ve had some time to process. Make sure to have connection points during your day, such as mealtimes,  and make sure your child knows it’s safe to express their feelings. If your water child comes to you, be fully available to them.

Day In – Day Out
It is important to know your child’s Dominate Element and any imbalances in their personal eco-system so that you can create a flow to honor your child’s needs. Creating this flow in your lives with help both of you deal will the stresses of everyday much better.

When we don’t go with the child’s flow at appropriate times, it can create undue stress. When it is possible, reduce the activities and provide the environment your child needs to either sleep more, have alone time, or process their day. This isn’t always an option, but when it is you will both be less stressed and living in the flow.

 

Resources:

  1. Join the Heal Your Child Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healyourchildbook/
  2. Find out your child’s five element type here: http://www.robinraygreen.com/discover-childs-5-element-type/

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